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Between Self-Admiration and Self-Hatred | Midnight Majlis
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Midnight Majlis
Between Self-Admiration and Self-Hatred | Midnight Majlis
The end of Ramadan is a time to redouble your efforts. Pray more, fast more—give more.
Do you admire yourself? Do you see others’ faults and need for guidance but fail to see your own? And how do you prevent self-accountability from turning into self-hatred? Dr. Omar Suleiman and Sh. Yaser Birjas explore Ibn Hazm (rh)’s reflections on these questions.
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
09:24So we'll get to that point. So he says that a person who lacks intelligence—why would he say that this is a person that lacks intelligence? Because he says that an intelligent person has the gift of tamyiz. He can discern. It's the gift of discernment, right? I can sort things out. So I can analyze a situation somewhat objectively, and I can say, "Okay, these are faults, these are virtues," and I can attack the faults this way, and I can strengthen the virtues this way. Like, think about the way that you approach business, or the way that you do, like, a SWOT analysis on yourself. I know it's kind of outdated, but, like, you analyze yourself, right? You're going to look at the opportunities, you're going to look at the threats, you're going to look at the strengths, you're going to look at the weaknesses, you're going to look at the rewards, you're going to look at the risks. So he's saying a person who's smart, who's intelligent, has the gift of discernment. And he says, but a person who's ignorant can be ignorant for one of two reasons. And he says that he can be ignorant because he's either just blind to his flaws. And this is jahilun—you know, someone who's ignorant of themselves. And it has more of the quality of the heart, of perception. It's like 'aql. 'Aql is something that's very objective, rational, right? When it's being described in these terms, so he's saying you lack rationality, but you also lack, like, just being a self-aware person—the perception. And he says that the worst case here is when someone starts to think that these 'ayub are actually virtues—that these flaws are actually virtues. And he says that the person who has this flaw in particular—of taking pride in their faults and seeing their faults as virtues—is the most severely deficient. And he said there are people—he's talking about Muslim Spain, he's talking about al-Andalus—and he's talking about the corruption of the political class. He says there are people who take pride in zina, in fornication, in liwat—homosexuality—in theft (sariqah), in dhulm—in oppression. And he said they feel proud that they've mastered these abominations, and they revel in their power in this regard. Basically, the ability to do these things without being held accountable. So what he's saying here is that what he's witnessing in the corruption of the political class is that people are becoming not just flagrant in their relationships or in their abuses of power or in their abuses of the things that Allah 'azza wa jall has classed as kabair—as major sins—but they're becoming deficient in the sense that they take pride in reveling in these things.
09:38And you might see, by the way, like in the English translation, liwat is translated as child abuse, right? So it's not just homosexuality, but it's translated as child abuse in this regard. And Allah 'alim. He might be talking about the pedophilia, sodomizing of kids, even, and things of that sort in that time, but just disgusting features that he's seeing in society, particularly amongst the elite classes, who have normalized these things amongst themselves to where they take pride in these things now. They actually don't feel ashamed of them whatsoever. I think that Ibn Hajar says, "Look, those who don't recognize or don't actually see themselves doing anything wrong is one of two things—whether because they don't know. And that's because this is now jahl. They don't know. They don't know what they're doing actually is wrong because they truly genuinely don't think this is wrong. They think it's okay to do that stuff. So this basically can be removed with 'ilm—like, educate them. If their objective—again, 'aql—is looking to improve themselves, and if you tell them, 'Look, this is not right. This is haram. This is wrong. This is unacceptable.' If they were 'aqil, you will say, 'You know what? Thank you very much for reminding me. Jazakallah khair. Yeah, I know right now.'"
09:48The second thing he says is tamyiz. And tamyiz over here is basically, they know that it's wrong, but they just kind of deliberately blind themselves from recognizing that—like, deliberately. So you tell them, "This is wrong." They say, "Why? How?" They know it's wrong, but they're blocking themselves from accepting that flaw because they know there's liability on that. And again, who's doing this to them? Their ego. And the shaitan using the ego. Because the ego is known to be, again, selfish. It's actually biased. It's always, you know, trying to benefit you at all costs, even if it was about damaging another person's livelihood and life and so on. So when the shaitan and the ego come and tell you, "No, actually, he deserves it. She deserves it. They asked for it. If they hadn't said that, if they hadn't done that, I wouldn't have practiced this or haven't actually behaved in that fashion"—like, they put the blame on the victim, basically, like gaslighting. Eventually, at tamyiz, they know it's wrong. They just don't want to recognize it. So whether because they don't have the knowledge—and that's something that can be cured with knowledge—or they now deliberately gaslight other people because they don't want to take any responsibility, and that requires admonition (maw'idah).
09:58Ittaqi Allah. Listen. Qal, "Indeed, Allah—" if they don't heed to the reminder from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, or the Sunnah of the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam,
10:48 the worst case here is when someone starts to think that these ayub are actually virtues, that these flaws
10:58 are actually virtues, and he says, so he says that the person who has this flaw in particular of taking pride in their faults and seeing their faults as virtues is the most severely deficient, and he said there are people, he's talking about Muslim Spain, he's talking about
11:33 Andalus, and he's talking about the corruption of the political class, he says there are people who take pride in zina, in fornication, in liwat, homosexuality, in theft, sariqa, in
11:43 vuln, in oppression, and he said they feel proud that they've mastered these abominations, and they revel in their power in this regard, basically the ability to do these things without
11:53 being held accountable, so what he's saying here is that what he's witnessing in the corruption of the political class is that people are becoming not just
12:03 flagrant in their relationships or in their abuses of power or in their abuses of the things that Allah azawajal has classed as
12:13 kabab, as major sins, but they're becoming deficient in the sense that they take pride in reveling in these things, and you might see by the way like in the English translation, liwat is translated as
12:23 child abuse, right, so it's not just homosexuality, but it's translated as child abuse in this regard, and Allah a'lam, he might be talking about the pedophilia, sodomizing of kids even and things
12:33 of that sort in that time, but just disgusting features that he's seeing in society, particularly amongst the elite classes who have normalized these things amongst themselves to where they take pride in these things
12:43 now, they actually don't feel ashamed of them whatsoever. I think that Ibn Hajar says look, those who don't recognize or don't actually
12:53 see themselves doing anything wrong is one of two things, whether because they don't know, and that's because this is now jahl, they don't know, they don't know what they're
13:03 doing actually is wrong, because they truly genuinely don't think this is wrong, they think it's okay to do that stuff, so this basically can be removed with ilm, like educate them if their objective
13:13 again, aqil, is looking to improve themselves, and if you tell them look, this is not right, this is haram, this is wrong, this is unacceptable, if they were aqil, you will say you know what, thank you
13:23 very much for reminding me, jazakallah khair, yeah, I know right now. The second thing he says tamiz, and tamiz over here is basically they know that it's wrong, but
13:33 they just kind of deliberately blind themselves from recognizing that, like deliberately, so you tell them this is wrong, says why, how, they
13:43 know it's wrong, but they're blocking themselves from accepting that flaw because they know there's liability on that, and again, who's doing this to them? Their ego,
13:53 and the shaitan using the ego, because the ego is known to be again selfish, it's actually biased, it's always you know to try to benefit you at all costs, even if it was about damaging
14:03 other person's livelihood and life and so on, so when the shaitan and the ego comes and tells you, no, actually he deserves it, she deserves it, they ask for it,
14:13 if they haven't said that, if they haven't done that, I wouldn't have practiced this, or haven't actually behaved in that fashion, like they put the blame on the victim basically, like gaslighting. Eventually
14:23 at tamiz, they know it's wrong, they just don't want to recognize it, so whether because they don't have the knowledge, and that's something that can be cured with knowledge, or they now deliberately gaslighting other people because they don't want to take any responsibility,
14:37 and that requires admonition, ma'idah, ittaqillah, listen, qalul lahi tabar, if they don't heed to the reminder from Allah swt, or the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
14:47then what else can remind them? How can you make them become intelligent enough to worry about themselves in the dunya and the akhirah, more than just about their image, their name,
14:57their fame, and so on. So Sheikh, two comments on this by the way, the first one when it comes to tamiz, discernment, these scholars were masters of tamiz, they were masters of studying
15:09human behavior, and they had the gift of what's known as firasa, firasa which is, you know, you could look at someone, and you could diagnose them pretty easily, I'm not talking about
15:20like medical diagnosis, it's about spiritually, they could read the way that you were carrying yourself, and they could give you really powerful advice about yourself, right? So they had to protect themselves from the gift of discernment, to not pass final judgment
15:32on people, like they actually have to protect themselves from 'ujub, they have to protect themselves from 'ujub, from not feeling like they're better than other people, because they can look at people, and they can see things, and they could easily start to say, well you're like this, and you're like that, so what do they do? They turn that eye inwards,
15:46and they look at themselves instead, and they scrutinize themselves in a powerful way instead. You know there's a famous incident with Imam Shafi'i and Imam Malik, where they were like competing, may Allah have mercy on them, like someone's walking by, and these people
16:00were so skilled, that they could look at the way a person carries themselves, and they could tell you what job that person does, what profession he is. So Imam Malik said
16:11he's a shepherd, Imam Shafi'i said he's a carpenter, just by looking at the way the man walks, the way the man talks, the way he's just carrying himself, so someone went and asked the man, what do you do for a living? He said I used to be a shepherd, but now I'm
16:24a carpenter. It's like, both of them were right, right? That's the skill of their tamiz, the skill of being able to like sort things out, and like analyze people, so they had to turn that inwards. The second thing that I'd say about commenting on this, Ibn Hazm is talking about like serious social corruptions, and by the way, the elite of
16:38today are not much different from the elite back then, as you can see, right? Like serious social corruption that he's noticing amongst the elites. But there is a minor version of that too, when a person takes pride, for example, in their anger. So like you're very rude,
16:52you're very objectionable, and you say I'm just a straight shooter, I like to consider myself like 'Umar al-Khattab, or like Ibn Hazm, mashallah, like someone says calm down, like you have an abusive tongue, no, I just say it like it is, and people don't like me for
17:06that. Now you just took pride, you took pride, kibr, in a bad trait, in ghadab. So you fell from two directions, and that's what he's talking about. Allah 'azza wa jall mentions this
17:20in the Qur'an. You say to someone fear Allah, and their pride causes them to cling to that sin. No, like I'm going to do this just to spite you, just to show you that there's nothing
17:34wrong with this whatsoever, and that this is the way that I'm going to live my life. And so that's something to point out here. Ibn Hazm, rahimahallah, when you hear or read what he's saying about those who don't really
17:44stand for the right thing, and they always claim to have big pride and bigger than what they deserve and so on, he hates them so much the way he was describing them afterwards. Like he said these are the lowest of the low, he says. He says have the certainty.
17:57No human being is free of any deficiencies except for the Prophets, he says. They're the only ones who are infallible. So he says everybody else, they have deficiencies. We
18:10have flaws, we have faults. Anyone who is not recognizing their own faults, he has fallen way down there. You're at the
18:20base, basically, if you cannot say that. Like he described them in everything horrible you can imagine. They're so ridiculous, they're
18:30so stupid, they're so low, they're so very cheap, they're very, and they're just like
18:39feebleness and all these different kind of statements he's mentioning about this individual just to drive his point across, he says look, if you're not going to be brave enough to
18:49see your own faults and recognize them and say I'm sorry, then you need to elevate yourself to be a better person so you can help if needed because you need knowledge. We need someone to tell you if you're doing something right or wrong. If you're not gonna do that, then you are at the lowest of the low. He says you are the lowest of the low and then he says I don't know any benefit from hearing about other people's flaws and faults
19:03Better than taking admonition from it, taking a reminder from it. I don't know any benefit from hearing about other people's flaws and faults Better than taking admonition from it, taking a reminder from it. Like you need to, when you hear about people and what they do in their personal life This is not about laughing at that story or just saying like, oh, they're so horrible people.
19:15It's not about you just gonna be amused by the story what happened there. It's about learning from it. And he says you need to learn for yourself so that at least you avoid so that you avoid these traits that you consider to be very negative flaws.
19:29And stay away from it and purify yourself from these kind of characteristics by the grace of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and his power. So he says look, hearing about people's flaws, this could be good for you so at least you recognize what is wrong so you can avoid it.
19:44But you speak about other people's flaws and faults that's a big, a big mistake. It's a big shame on you. Like you talk about other people's flaws and faults when you know that you have more
19:58or if you want to be bigger than what they have. It's not even permissible to begin with. You're not allowed to talk about people like that. And your obligation is to avoid slandering people like this. Unless you're advising that person or advising someone.
20:13Like look, you advise somebody about maybe somebody else. Listen, I know that you associate yourself with this individual, just be careful. He's known to do one, two, three for example. So it's okay to advise someone about that matter.
20:26Or maybe just admonishing the other person so you can actually kind of like give him a lesson so he would understand. But that has to be in his face, not behind his back. So it's really interesting like if you're talking about the buildup. Like yesterday we talked about the simplicity of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam not being a pretentious person.
20:38The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam not paying attention to like what was in front of him in terms of food or what he was wearing or like when it came to worldly things, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam just took whatever because he was focused, right? So he wore whatever was around him.
20:51He rode whatever was outside his house when it came time to ride something. He walked in whatever shoes he could find or no shoes at all. Like he wasn't paying attention to these small material things because the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam was focused on higher priorities. So now like he's building on that concept and he's saying that the sign of a person who's ignorant of themselves
21:04is that they talk a lot about other people. That they're paying attention to other people's flaws. And this is of course what Imam al-Hasan rahimahallah narrates. One of the signs of abandonment from Allah is that a person becomes busy with that which doesn't concern them. May Allah have mercy on a person who became too busy with their own flaws to focus on the flaws of others.
21:18So like your priorities are out of order. If you have time to talk about other people, that means you don't have sufficient time to interrogate yourself, like to actually look deeply at your own flaws. You're not paying attention to what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has commanded you to direct your attention to. The punishment of that is multifold.
21:30The punishment of that is of course, and there's the athar, of course. It's not an authentic hadith, but the athar that whoever taunts a brother for his sin then he will not die until he commits that sin.
21:45Like you taunt someone for a sin, Allah will test you by committing that very same sin. You mock someone for committing a certain sin, Allah will put you in a situation where you will end up committing that same sin.
21:59The second thing the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned with the companion that was struggling with alcohol And this is of course what Imam Hassan Rahimallah narrates ...
22:12 One of the signs that Allah, you know, of abandonment from God Is that ... Is that a person becomes busy with that which doesn't concern them ...
22:24 May Allah have mercy on a person who became too busy with their own flaws To focus on the flaws of others So like your priorities are out of order If you have time to talk about other people
22:35 That means you don't have sufficient time to interrogate yourself Like to actually look deeply at your own flaws You're not paying attention to what Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Has commanded you to direct your attention to The punishment of that is multifold
22:50 The punishment of that is of course And there's the athar of course It's not an authentic hadith But the athar that whoever taunts a brother for his sin Then he will not die until he commits that sin Like you taunt someone for a sin Allah will test you by committing that very same sin
23:04 You mock someone for committing a certain sin Allah will put you in a situation where you will end up committing that same sin The second thing The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned With the companion that was struggling with alcohol All right. And he was coming...
23:18This is a real situation. Like alcohol was prohibited in the middle of the prophetic seerah. And there are some companions that struggled. Right. Not everyone was able to just break the bottle right away. Some of them had to break an addiction.
23:32And so you had this Sahabi that struggled with alcohol. And you know some of the Sahaba... When they saw him drunk, They cursed him. And the Prophet (ﷺ) said don't do that. Don't support his shaitan against him.
23:47Why are you supporting his devil against him? What's it going to do to him to hear in his mind The companions cursing him as well? Instead you want to build this man up To know that you're bigger than your alcohol addiction. You can do better than that.
24:00But what good do you get out of beating him up when he's already down? And so what happens to you? The shaitan becomes stronger against you as well. Oh, you helped that man's shaitan against him. Now your shaitan will be helped against you as well.
24:14And the third thing is that you become ignorant of yourself. You become so ignorant of yourself. When your tongue is going right and left and your eyes are going right and left, You're not someone who's actually paying attention to your introspection.
24:26Because Allah did not put two hearts in a single person. You can only have one heart. Allah did not give you two sets of eyes. Allah did not give you two sets of priorities. So basically, build on the idea Like the Prophet (ﷺ) was too busy with the worldly things...
24:40Because he was focused on the things of the hereafter. Like he was a man on a mission. A man who had purpose. (ﷺ) Likewise, be busy with your own flaws. And if you come across someone else's flaws,
24:54If you really care about that person, The last thing you're going to do is backbite them. That's the last thing you're going to do is backbite them. If you really care about that person, You'll take them to the side. You'll say, "You know, I love you for the sake of Allah.
25:08You're someone who I know you to be an amazing person. You'll mention all of their good qualities. In hopes that you will inspire them to live up to their better selves. And then lift them up out of that darkness. And you know what Allah might do for you as a result of that?
25:22When you hit your low point, Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) might send you someone else as well. Send you a friend, send you a brother. Send you someone that will pull you out of the darkness as well. With the same well-wishing, With the same nasihah that you gave to somebody else.
25:36So just realize that this comes back to you In many, many, many ways. It talks about your present state And it bodes very badly for your future punishment in this life And in the next, if you're someone that likes to talk about the flaws of other people. Sheikh Ibn Hazm (Rahimahu Allah Ta'ala)—
25:50He starts counting some of these flaws, right? He speaks about the boastful man. If you start to kind of pride yourself with something, How can you counter that and remind yourself to be more humble in this matter? And learn about your faults. But before that he said, "Look,
26:04You should tell the boastful man or boastful person To turn around and look at yourself. Look at your own faults." He said this should be enough for al-aqil. Again, he goes back to someone who has, you know, sense of understanding— al-aqil. And if you remember, the best virtues
26:19He said one of them was al-fahm, That you have, of course, understanding of who you are, What the circumstances are. Because al-aqil will be sufficient for them to turn around, Look back at their own flaws and faults. Be sufficient for them to cure yourself from that.
26:34When you know that being rude is not good, Being vulgar is not good, Being ruthless is not good, You can't justify that behavior no matter how much you try. And if you try to justify it, that will make it even worse.
26:48According to Ibn Hazm (Rahimahu Allah), So admitting that, "Yes, I was rude here. I was ruthless in this behavior. I acted out of character, blah blah blah"— Admitting that should make the sensible person, you know, Recognize their flaws and fix that. That's the first. He said the second thing:
27:04Don't let the shaitan deceive you by starting to compare yourself to other people's flaws. By saying, "Well, at least I'm not as horrible as that individual." And if you remember what he said then— Shaitan deceives people with these two things.
27:15One of them is just, "Well, I'm not the worst, you know, of all people, right?" So that's the same thing over here. "Well, at least I'm not doing this. I did not do that." So don't you ever compare yourself to these people. A sensible person, a reasonable person, should always look what is better for themselves.
27:30So that's kind of like the summary of how you should understand yourself: Number one: Look back at your own flaws. So admit that you have flaws that need to be fixed. Number two: Don't compare to those who are lower than you. That's not the standard. The standard always goes back to who?
27:44Rasulullah—as we spoke about this last night— So we start talking about One real point here connected to the first chapter: The very first chapter he said that what people want is security. And no one wants to feel insecure.
27:59And so there is... it takes courage to actually be willing to scrutinize yourself. And you have to be secure with yourself to be able to apologize to people, Because you're not worried about the repercussions of apology. You're not worried about like looking in the mirror and assessing yourself
28:14And saying, "Wait a minute, like I have these problems." Like it's uncomfortable when you come to the realization That you might not have been the Musa, But you might have actually been the Pharaoh this whole time. Like it's very uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable
28:27To look in the mirror and be like, "Whoa, actually I'm the problem." So this is, this is about security as well. Like it's okay for a husband to apologize to their wives. Yeah, and wives to apologize to their husbands. It goes both ways.
28:42Absolutely. Because, of course, you know, children to parents and parents to children. There's nothing... even parents. You know, Subhan'Allah, by the way, even parents with their children. Like, Subhan'Allah, your kids will respect you more.
28:55Your kids will respect you more when you show them vulnerability. Like there are studies about this that say, like, "You know what, Baba, you were right. I appreciate that." Your kid might, you know, puff up his chest a little bit too much initially,
29:08But like it'll actually build like a respect, Because you're showing your children integrity. When you insist upon your fault, you're showing them that might is always right. Right? What value are we teaching them, Subhan'Allah? Yeah, so you're not teaching them any values.
29:23Understand. Now he starts talking about, "See, these flaws Or how we deceive ourselves with some of these qualities, Thinking that we are, you know, at the top, right?" He goes, "Look,
29:43Because if you're so proud of your intelligence and you're so smart, basically, Like, "I'm so smart, I'm so intelligent," right? Because if you're so smart then think about this Remember all the bad thoughts that come into your mind Every time that you think you're so smart
29:57Remember the dumb ideas you had before Like basically we all had dumb ideas, seriously Things right now, when we think, when you remember these thoughts And these ideas and things we've done because we thought it was a smart idea You want to bury your face in your hands, subhanallah, between your knees
30:12You cover yourself He says look, we all have these bad ideas and dumb ideas So don't tell me that you're so smart that you've never thought of something horrible Or deceitful, so be careful with this
30:25And always thinking that you're smart, you build false hopes You start building dreams of, of the future And there is no base to them, like there is no plan
30:39There is no, there's no resources to it It's just a matter of just sitting there dreaming big When you're still uh sipping your cup of coffee doing nothing So he basically said look, if you think you're smart Then remember you're gonna have to work on this
30:53You have to make sure to remember that sometimes I do think of dumb ideas And it's okay as long as you admit your faults And you should be fine insha'Allah
31:05So the first was about intelligence or being smart or otherwise The second one he goes Because if you're so proud of your opinions You know, some people are very opinionated, right
31:20No matter how much you try, there is no way they're gonna yield When they hold on to an opinion, for them it's sacred Because if you think that your opinion is the way And the only way to see things
31:36Remember when you had such strong feelings about these opinions before And it proved to be wrong And it drops you so far down and hurts you and embarrassed you You guys remember this
31:50On this note, you know how like we have this tendency Like someone looks back at the past and says, "I remember when I was sitting with them I told them that if we do this then this is gonna happen They didn't listen to me And that's why we're in this disaster that we're in right now"
32:03Like everyone has that opinion about the American Muslim community by the way, right Like, you know, 10 years ago we were sitting in this person's living room And I said this and they didn't listen to me And that's why all the American Muslim leaders did this and this and this and that And that's why everyone is in the situation that they're in right now I had it right, no one else had it right
32:18All right, a microcosm of that, if you're an "I told you so" person Imagine how many times someone else could say "I told you so" Imagine how many times your opinion was total nonsense Like you got something so wrong with your opinion
32:32So it's nice to cling on to the opinions that we were right about You know, in our minds, and they would have materialized perfectly Right, like the perfect world, like everything would have gone According to plan if everyone followed my opinion
32:47Right, but because they took that inferior opinion, that's why everything collapsed Well, you know, many times, alhamdulillah, people didn't listen to you Or someone didn't take your opinion right, because your opinions were not always right
32:59So he's saying think of all the times you were wrong, like in your life And realize that your opinion is not that infallible You're not as bright as you think you are And I think that goes back to the statement we mentioned last night From Babishir Shafiq, rahimahullah wa ta'ala When he says, "Look, when I debate people
33:14I always begin by reminding myself and reminding them, like, listen," he said "Qawli sawab yahtamilu al-khata wa qawluka khata yahtamilu as-sawab" Like my opinion to me is right but it might be wrong
33:26Your opinion to me is wrong but you might be right Basically he says when I start debating with people I'm looking for the truth, being very objective And the truth is never subjective in these matters
33:39So he said, "Look, I'm looking for the truth, help me understand it But to me, so far, based on my research, based on my understanding, based on my work I've done everything in my power, and this is my opinion So for me that's the truth
33:52If you can prove me wrong with evidence and proof, I'll take it from you" If you live your life with such an attitude towards your opinion Wallahi, you'll be okay, you'll be fine You won't feel, you know, hurt if people said, "No, you're wrong"
34:06Or object to your opinions, or maybe give another suggestion Or maybe just modification, or trying to compromise with you It would be easy for you to say, "You know what, okay"
34:21He didn't mind people correcting him in opinions, right In the Battle of Badr, when the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam He chose the location for the camping To have the Muslim army camp, and he did his own plan on it
34:35So Al-Hubab Al-Mundhir came to the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam And said, "Ya Rasulallah Is that location that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commanded you to take as a position for our army Or is that the strategy of war?"
34:50The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said, "No, actually, that's the strategy of war I thought it to be a good location" He goes, "If that's the case, Ya Rasulallah, I have a better plan We should take this location instead" And the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, liked his suggestion He goes, "You know what, you're right, let's do that"
35:04And that is the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam He didn't mind an average Sahabi that probably we never heard his name before Probably never heard of the name Al-Hubab Al-Mundhir And not knowing who he was, was that a Sahabi even
35:19Yeah, and he was the man behind the strategic location for the Battle of Badr That today, many people when they go to 'umrah They drive two and a half hours, three hours out of Medina, all the way
35:32All the way to Badr to see the site of the battlefield Subhanallah We gotta pause with this because it's so profound Because an insecure leader hates being corrected Of course
35:44Or hates being like, like taking anyone's opinion, like immediately, like defensive Do you realize in every major episode of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam's life He took shura, and he welcomed the Companions to weigh in
35:56And the most quote-unquote insignificant Companions were able to weigh in every single time Badr and Uhud, right, the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, took their opinion And by the way, the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
36:09You know, he himself, alayhi as-salat wa as-salam, indicated that He would have preferred that they fought inside the city They went out to Jabal Uhud instead, right The hypocrites made this the excuse by which they abandoned the believers
36:24Because they said, "Oh, you know, it was our opinion that we should fight inside Medina, not go out to Uhud" And then they decimated the army the night before the Battle of Uhud Because how dare he, right, they're always looking for an excuse Al-Khandaq, Salman Al-Farisi, radiallahu ta'ala anhu
36:38This man is a Persian who's never fought a single battle alongside the Muslims Because he was enslaved, and he was only freed from slavery after Uhud And in Al-Khandaq, he's giving his opinion to the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
36:51This is seriously consequential. He says, "You know, I think In Persia we used to build these ditches We used to build these ditches to protect ourselves from the onslaught of the Roman cavalry" And the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, loved his idea Every single episode, the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, loves to let people speak
37:06And he gives them their room, and that's the sign again of a secure leader. Like, he's He's okay with that. He welcomes that type of feedback He welcomes that type of environment around him. So everyone who is a leader in their space, then
37:19Be secure with yourself to invite that type of shura And that's only going to build everything and everyone around you And it's going to demonstrate Prophetic integrity based on the Sunnah You know, Sheikh, in the scheme of things, if we zoom out a little bit and look at the
37:33Macro level of things, of decision-making, let's say in leadership Our Ulama even taught us this "Al-khata' fi janib al-jama'ah awla min as-sawab fi janib al-fard" Like, being wrong on the side of the jama'ah is better than being right on your own
37:47What does that mean? Basically, some leaders think because it's my opinion And I think it's the right thing to do, and even if they were right They say, "You see, I told you so." He says, "But strategically speaking, from a
37:59Leadership position, that is dangerous, and it's absolutely wrong. Because you might be right on your own But if that builds resentment with your crowd, and shura and the second
38:12Level of leadership and so on, it can really kill the jama'ah in the long term" Yeah, but being wrong while the jama'ah supports each other, said, "Look, this is our opinion, so let's do it"
38:22You should be fine. An example of this is Uhud. In An-Nabi, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what was his opinion? He said, "Let's stay in the city and bunker in the city and protect ourselves, and eventually Because they have the numbers, we don't," the younger ones said, "What? No
38:36Yeah, so law we need to go out, so the Prophet said okay, then the majority say let's go out, we'll go out. He went against his own opinion, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Because he knew that being wrong on the side of the jama'a
38:48is still better than being, you know, right on the side of the least happy about it. Not when I talk about truth and falsehood. Strategy and opinion—it's so profound.
38:59So I hope that people understand here that what he's saying, Rahimahu Allah Ta'ala, is like he said, look at the end. He thought he said Rahimahu Allah. In Fallatu, that if I call you a khalif and he was in a position of authority,
39:11but he said, "Look, if you know that you make mistakes and sometimes you have seen that other people's opinion were better than yours, because if you're gonna compare yourself to other people, then you will see that you'll go even.
39:25Sometimes you're right, sometimes you're wrong, sometimes they're wrong, sometimes they're right. So you go even." He said that's the best situational scenario. However, it's a reality. He said, "Reality: we are all more wrong than right most of the time."
39:40We are more wrong than we are right. So that's what a beautiful thing. This is for everybody, he says—is for everybody except the Prophets, the Messengers (salawatu Allah Ta'ala 'alayhi wa alayhi). God, Rahimahu Allah.
39:54"When I've decided to be a Malik, and if you're now so proud of your good deeds, you're doing so much, Masha'Allah, especially Ramadan, you know, I shall—alright, like, if you think that you've done so great in the month, now
40:05you're sitting down and sipping your cup of coffee at the Yemeni cafe again, right? And then it is like severe your identity, right? And it's like, "This Ramadan was amazing.
40:17I think I've done better than last Ramadan. I'm the normal man." I know someone here who said he drank five cups before he got here. Well, I like, what? So I'm gonna call him out. It's alright, they shall love that, but
40:31the idea here—it says like, if you think that your deeds are so good, alpha to think of Him, I see, remember your sins. When you start thinking about your best deeds, Masha'Allah, said remember, you made mistakes, you made sins.
40:44Color feet as-surrika, and when you feel short a little bit from doing the right thing—not necessarily a sin, less than a sin, but you fell short from being perfect. Well, if he my she cow would you be, for a lot of the deen, Mandela? Ka my ugly boy on a query?
40:57He says, "When you look at your flaws and your faults and your livelihood and in your opinions in your behavior and so on, he said, you will see for yourself you will see that you have done so much wrong. You wronged yourself.
41:10Basically, more than what you've done right for yourself." I love you. I feel it covers. Unfortunately, yeah, and you're good and so on. Now I want to also put a disclaimer here:
41:20Ibn Hazm, Rahimahu Allah, that here is not really trying to pull people down—like, never ever feel good about the deed that you do, because the Prophet says, "If he says, call it a sort of hasanaatuka. What's that?
41:33Kasai yet a fadum omen: if you're pleased with the good deed that you make and you're displeased with the bad deed that you do, that's a sign of Iman." So Alhamdulillah, if you're pleased with your good deed, the problem is that when you start thinking that you've done so much good,
41:49now no wrong can catch up with you anymore. That's when it becomes a problem. There's a story that always comes to my mind in this regard—it's about Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz. Allah, I'm gonna be an 'Abd al-'Aziz was the governor of Medina.
42:02Initially, when he was 25 years old, he was appointed as the governor of Medina. He's known as the one who joined the Khalifas Rashidun, even though he didn't live immediately after them, meaning, what, like—
42:15he is in the same league as the Khalifas Rashidun, as the best of the Khalifahs, and when he was the governor of Medina, he was also known for upholding justice in Medina. He was governor for seven years—young governor—
42:29but he had to administer one time a punishment on behalf of the Khalifah, who was his uncle, 'Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan, and the Khalifah ordered the punishment of a young man named Khubayb.
42:41Not the famous Khubayb ibn Adi, radiyallahu 'anhu—another young man. He's the son of 'Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr, radiyallahu 'anhu, and so there was that, you know, that rivalry between them and Bani Umayyah, and he had to carry out a punishment.
42:55He was just following the orders of his superior, right? And he remembered carrying out that punishment, and he remembered the trembling of Khubayb in that punishment, and he was so mad at himself for doing that.
43:09Now for the rest of his life, he regretted that. And subhanAllah, he became the epitome of justice. At 38 years old, he becomes the Khalifah of the Ummah, and he establishes justice that will not be seen until the time of Jesus,
43:22'Isa, 'alayhi assalam, which is what—that you can't, I mean, he rid the Ummah of poverty and injustice to the point that they couldn't find anyone to take Zakah in large swaths in Africa
43:35and Asia. He was doing so much good, and so people would praise him. "Oh 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz, oh 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz," and when anyone would praise him for the justice that he established, he put his head down and he'd start crying and say, "Wakafa bi Khubayb.
43:49But what about what I did to Khubayb? But what about what I did to Khubayb? But what about what I did to Khubayb?" SubhanAllah, like the one sin that he committed in qada, in that judgment, that injustice kept him humble in such a way that he felt like he had to pursue
44:04justice his entire life to make up for that sin that he committed in his youth as a governor of Medina. That is beautiful, profound, tragic all at the same time. Right, because Allah 'Azza wa Jal will make it up to Khubayb.
44:17Well, the Allah Ta'ala knows, but also it kept 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz well—the Allah knows—the person that he was. So people lavish the praises on him, and he says, "No, I'm not, I'm not that great person. I made a mistake. You keep talking about me establishing the sense of justice?
44:31I know who I am. I know that I messed up in my youth." That reminds me with his great-grandfather, 'Umar al-Khattab. I don't know—that was the same thing too, that he sometimes he would sit down reminding himself and says, "Hey, I am 'Umar al-Khattab, like, oh, wow!
44:47Now people keep saying I'm your Amir. They have a mirror, Amir." I mean, money is coming in as is leaving out, and like, don't forget yourself. Basically, don't let this in again come into your head." SubhanAllah.
44:59This is someone like 'Umar al-Khattab that the Prophet says about him, say that if the Shaytan sees you coming one way, he's gonna run away for the other side. That is the man. He is putting himself right now to account, and he's doing more hasab, but like, he's just got reckoning with his reality.
45:13Like, "Look, I'm being an Amir. Oh my God, this is, you shouldn't come into my head." Someone like 'Umar al-Khattab, of course, I need a— The fruit doesn't fall away from the tree. SubhanAllah, and 'Umar ibn 'Abd al-'Aziz is a grandson of 'Umar al-Khattab.
45:26But now what I'm saying comes to the subject of 'ilm. He said, "I don't know I give to be I'll make if you said it becomes so part of your knowledge, like Masha'Allah. You see yourself to become a very knowledgeable person.
45:36Fallam wa la, la, 'asa lahaw la wa la, Masha'a, hibbiton wara, wahabika." Yeah, yeah. What I said, you have to understand that the knowledge that you have is not
45:47—there's no credit to you in it. It's a gift that Allah Subhana has granted you. It's all a gift. He's gonna explain why it's considered a gift, and he started to give an example. Because he says, "Beware, that in that end, you're not practicing everything. That's one of your flaws."
46:02Part of the time you, you forget a lot of it, and and usually, sometimes you forget some of that, and because of certain things you go through, and he mentioned sometimes you go through some trauma
46:13that you forget about that and completely. Like, he's got the example of one of his friends or one of the other mufti of his time, 'Abd al-Malik ibn Qasim. He said, "This man he went and you know, and in the sea, and he
46:27encountered a near-death experience. That he freaked out, because of which, when he came back, he forgot a lot of the 'ilm that he had. Like, he went through trauma, like with extreme, excessive, extreme fear, that when he came back to land,
46:42he, he forgot a lot of the 'ilm. He wasn't the same person anymore, and he himself admitted about himself, "I got sick. He said, "I got so much sick that somehow that sickness caused me so much pain that I forgot a lot of the 'ilm."
46:55It took me a year, took me years to regain that 'ilm that I lost because of that. So what he's saying, he said, "Look, being an 'alim or someone with knowledge, you can easily lose that.
47:06Besides," he said, "remember, it's only a gift from Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala." How so, he says here: "Wa in man a kathira min ahl al-hirs al-'ilm yajidun fil qira—said you understand that those who are studious when it comes to seek
47:18knowledge, they spend so much time in reading. Wa takabiya, that's what follow, and they put themselves there on the road to seek knowledge and
47:29acquiring that knowledge. Summa la yasqunan min hu hadha wa la kathir, and they don't get much of it. Of all the time they spend in seeking knowledge, not much really is gained or taken.
47:41Yeah, and it, did they take with them? For al-'ilm, do they only? And no kanibul ikbah bi wahda la kana. If it was a matter of how much time you spend in learning, then some other people might be more knowledgeable than you are. But you can tell it's a more mihrah from Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala.
47:55Sheikh, I've noticed that in Medina, as well as with students in Medina—I mean, you know, it's interesting. SubhanAllah, I mean, in our, of course, class, we had around two thousand, three thousand students, and these students they come from all around the world.
48:10You talk about students coming from Asia, from Africa, from Europe, from all around the world, and SubhanAllah, you meet some of these students. They're unbelievably knowledgeable people. But then when you recognize today—if I can tell you how many of these two thousand that I know are
48:25active in da'wah or even in seeking and spreading knowledge or teaching, and so on—they're a handful. Yeah, not so many people they maintain that. So yeah.
48:35If you think that you are that knowledgeable part of the new 'ulama, Masha'Allah, of the next generation—when the last was, then remember, generations before you lost so much of that knowledge. I'd also bring that SubhanAllah to
48:47remove it just from the realm of like Islamic knowledge. If Allah has given you a couple of intellect, you're just smart, you just pick up on things really, really easy, you just have a gift of discernment,
49:01then that can be your greatest blessing, or it could be actually your greatest test, because you could become so arrogant that you even reject the Prophet, Sallallahu 'alayhi wa assalam.
49:10Right? There are those that rejected the Prophet, Sallallahu 'alayhi wa assalam, on the basis of rationality, not realizing that in the process of rejecting faith on the basis of rationality, they actually became the biggest idiots. But like, you see someone—
49:24you know, I always marvel. Like, you got the professor who knows every little thing about this cell and the intricate details of creation, but somehow they're an atheist, and then you've got the doctor who
49:39understands the details of how many things could go wrong in a person's body and how sophisticated this creation from Allah is and that makes them a stronger believer So the differentiation is not really what's stored in here. That can be a test for you
49:53It's about how you're internalizing all of that So there are a few things to take from here. Number one: for al-'alim, the scholar above everyone who has knowledge is one who has more knowledge Above everyone that has knowledge is one who has more knowledge So if you think you know, there's someone that knows more than you
50:07Number two: that knowledge was bestowed upon you by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for a purpose If you weaponize it in the wrong way, you'll become the greatest loser Number three:
50:18Allah 'azza wa jal, just as your brain was developing when you were in the womb and then as you came into this world and you naturally every year you got older and you could speak better, you could perceive better, you could discern more
50:32How long, don't we see the example of people that are tested as well? It's honestly the hardest thing to see someone who is very knowledgeable someone who is very scholarly, someone who knew so much and then you know, they get old and
50:46you know, they can't, they can't, they don't even know the names of their family anymore. No, may Allah help them and help their families Truly humbling. Like, other than a normal person like people go back to that, or someone has an accident or someone goes through trauma
51:00they just completely slip, they forget everything Allah's showing that when you wake up in the morning and you're thanking Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for
51:09your ability to do this or your ability to eat or like just the ability to think, say alhamdulillah for that, the ability to comprehend That's why the, you know, what? What does He say?
51:23As-sama' wa al-basar wa al-fu'ad Hearing, sight, and the faculty of perception. Okay, there's so much that comes from that So this is really a very profound point because he's saying like look
51:35that can all be taken away from you with one hit and then you don't remember anything and it's completely taken away from you So use that knowledge properly. The second part of the Sheikh is maybe how do you think someone can carry knowledge?
51:48You know men, who have come in home to someone that actually gets it better than them When you're sincere in your pursuit of knowledge, when you're perceptive, when your eyes are open your heart is open
52:00your ears are open, you hear something from someone and you develop so much more benefit from that because they see in in the way out Knowledge is not the abundance of
52:11narrations as Imam Ahmad Rahim Allah says, but it's a light that Allah puts in the heart of the believer that he sees with. So the Sheikh gives a boring khutbah, not Sheikh. Yes, of course a
52:23Sheikh gives a boring khutbah which you consider boring right now. I'm being serious, really boring khutbah. Oh, it sounded so basic You know, you mock it, someone else is paying attention and somehow
52:37they just turned that khutbah into a PhD thesis I'm serious. I know people like this I sit with someone who, oh that seems so basic and that didn't seem like all that but they were paying, their hearts were open their ears were open, their eyes were open and like
52:50they grasped something from that, like that one hadith, that basic hadith that was mentioned, that one ayah But that care in the remembrance finally meaning the reminder benefits the believer. They took it in and they soaked it
53:03they absorbed it and subhanallah they came out with something beautiful and so realize that knowledge is not just an affair of the mind. It's an affair of the heart
53:11It's an affair of perception and your sins, your arrogance. How can arrogance block knowledge? I got nothing. I can't benefit from this person What's that guy gonna teach me? What's what's he gonna say? That's no value to me. What am I gonna learn from this person? Whatever, he's wrong. He's an uncle
53:26Right. So he's an uncle. So what do they know? Anyway, no one says that about me I The first time I heard that, I was actually, people, I did hear that a few times, I did hear the
53:37it's coming. I know it's happened a few times already. First time was actually in a conference when they introduced me The lady was, that, the news me, she said He is the best uncle you can have in your life And I'm like that's efficient now
53:52But to the point, Sheikh, subhanallah how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gifts people knowledgeable life and because Allah might have prepared them for something and I want to ask you And he mentioned something really personal from my personal experience when I was in Medina or came to Medina University
54:07Originally, I didn't even want to apply to Medina University It was my friend because I was studying engineering. I was supposed to be going to Germany to finish my education there So my flight, my friend, after the war in Kuwait, he goes, look, we need to go to do hajj
54:18Right. You want to come with me? He says I'll come, he goes bring your papers. You might apply to Medina, says man I'm an engineer. What are you gonna take from me in Jami'ah Islamiyyah? Let's bring your paper. You're not gonna lose anything
54:28So we go with the umrah and we go, we apply, we get accepted and they're like what? They accepted me, alhamdulillah. I go there will by
54:38I am coming from engineering background. All these people coming from ten years, eight years of studying Islamic studies in their high school and middle school from their countries and they came there I was, I was really, I kind of felt out of place to be honest with you
54:53So I was doing more effort to study and that was that was the secret to it Subhanallah I was putting much more energy, more effort to study because I want to, I want to make sure I can be with these people at that same level subhanallah and
55:06to my surprise, and the biggest shock obviously, which is I don't want people to take this on in the wrong way but I was surprised and shocked when after the first semester the result came out and back then
55:18they used to post everybody's grades, you know, to the public to see And they put them in from the highest rank to the lowest rank so they know who's the top students and who's the failing students, by name This is how it used to be
55:33Subhanallah I was shocked and he won one of those nights come back from Medina, from Jami'ah in the City of Allah's Messenger And the students coming to me says congratulations Just like what happened, because you're the top student I'm like what? I?
55:48Couldn't believe that. I go there and my name is in the top. I was like what happened there? Subhanallah, but it was such a distressing experience because that brought attention I wasn't ready for a
55:59lot of students. Oh, so this is that, and I was like what's going on here? I mean guys, this is some after-Sheikh This is some after-Imam. I'm an engineer Basically, it just didn't help much either. The following year. I did something?
56:13Yeah, to the extent I could say self-sabotage. I did not study. I did not study for the exams deliberately and that dropped me from top students to somewhere, yeah, I live number 13 only
56:30But subhanallah, and to the point, this is one of my points coming in actually because Allah subhana sends you guides in a way that you don't even actually get it, comprehend One of those days, one of my teachers, Sheikh Mahmud As'ad, I'll let global hair
56:43He teaches also the fiqh. He calls me because come over here. Danny, answer. I said yes, sure He goes I know what you're doing. I'm like what? Says I know what you're doing. What are you trying to do? I said, what do you mean, Sheikh? He goes don't do this
56:58because I don't know why you're here for but Allah subhanahu ta'ala brought you for a reason So Allah brought you for a reason, not because of you. So if he has given you a gift, don't let it go to waste
57:12Well, I, he shook my core. I even when I remember those words still give me goosebumps right now subhanallah Like it's like a wake-up call. It's like whoa. What do you mean by that? And SubhanAllah, since that moment alhamdulillah I regained my
57:25my level of studies at the university of the Jami'ah for like the matter, cover to Allah, but then 30 years later, here we are sitting here So I just want to give people a message. If Allah subhanahu
57:39ta'ala opens your heart to a path of guidance, if Allah subhanahu ta'ala has put you on the path of seeking knowledge and you find alhamdulillah the path is getting easier, when I say easier, relatively speaking
57:51easier in terms of love and passion and an attachment to him, not that the path to seek is gonna be very simple and easy No, but if that's the case try to see that the North Star. I
58:03mean by that, what does Allah subhan want you to do with this? Where are you heading with that? Whether it's in Islamic studies, whether it's becoming an engineer or a doctor or a teacher or whatever that is Allah subhanahu ta'ala might be opening path for you, jama'ah
58:16So make sure to appreciate that inshallah. I don't think that you're better than anybody else Those are the people that you don't see much. Allah has chosen it for something else different than yours It may be better than your path, but that's basically what come to the subject of knowledge of 'adl, just a
58:31tangent, and it's always to take us far away from this Imam Ibn Hazm Rahim Allah ta'ala then he says God when I get to be shaja'ah. Attic If you are so proud of your courage and you being so brave
58:44he says then examine what would you do with that courage, with that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has granted you. What have you done with it? You are strong You're masha'allah. You're a big person. You're able to do so much. Alhamdulillah, but I mean with that
58:57but what did you do with that courage? Where did it go? Are you benefiting the poor, the needy, your community, your family, your household? Are you just spending it only just to?
59:10brag about being a tough guy and doing nothing about it? So that's something So how much interest it goes in, so after I feel myself and to Ahmad he says if you're gonna be spending your courage to do something brave about breaking the rules and
59:23so you think that you're so brave to commit the sin and brag about it because you're a fool You need to make sure that your courage is used for the right reason inshallah you know
59:33Like you think about the Sahaba, one of the things I always think about is that every Sahabi, once you study sira like deep enough, you'll know that every Sahabi has an equivalent from the
59:44disbelievers that has like an identical personality that could have been like that Sahabi Every single one of them subhanallah has like their match
59:52Right, Abu Bakr radiallahu ta'ala anhu, Abdullah ibn Judai'ah, study his cousin. He noted to have similar characteristics 'Umar radiallahu anhu, who's 'Umar's peer from the disbelievers? Abu Jahl
01:00:05All right, like the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said, "O Allah, I, you know, Allah may I, said Islam O Allah, give victory to Islam through the more beloved of the two of 'Umar's to you" 'Umar and Abu Jahl, both strong like leadership qualities Abu Jahl had great leadership qualities but he used them in evil
01:00:19Omar radiallahu anhu went out to kill the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and then transformed, and now the Muslims are lining up behind him. He used those qualities for good. Every one of the companions had that equivalent sometimes.
01:00:33It's their past life, like Khalid ibn Walid radiallahu anhu. Look how much we praise him. Look how beloved Khalid ibn Walid is to the Muslims, but when Khalid was on the other side, he was so hated.
01:00:43He used all that military skill, all that strategy, against the Muslims. But then Allah guided him, and he used it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. So the point is, if Allah gave you these strong gifts,
01:00:56use them for khair, use them for good. Imam al-Hasan al-Basri rahimahu Allah has a comment where he says the nafs is like a horse.
01:01:06Your self is like a horse. I think it's something to really think about. So he says, what is the worst type of horse? So he gives three types of horses. I know it's late at night, it's too late, it's after 2 a.m.
01:01:20He says there's a horse that's so weak that it can't even move you from point A to point B. That's a weak personality. Like you have no—you're not really trying to build yourself. You're not trying to move anywhere. You're not really doing anything. It's just like weakness.
01:01:34Then he said there's a horse that's out of control that you can't get the reins on. Right, so that's pride and conceit, and your courage is reckless, but you have all these strong personality types
01:01:48but you don't know how to get it in order, right? You got a sharp tongue that could be sharp and good, but you don't know how to stop cutting people up. You got a sharp brain that could be discerning and good
01:01:59and really mastering strategies and thinking about things, but you don't know how to shut it off and discipline it. Right, you have all these personality types. So don't have a reckless horse that just goes all over the place, and don't have a horse
01:02:14that's dead and doesn't move. Strong personalities are good; strong traits are good. But you've got to have the reins on them and know how to control it and know how to exert those things.
01:02:23That are blessed—especially with something like courage—use that courage for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala and for standing for justice. Don't use it against your brothers and sisters. Wa 'alaihi assalam. You need to know how to discern. You've got to be able to know when to turn it on, turn it off.
01:02:38If you have shaja'a (courage) only against your brothers and sisters, but then once you're facing the actual enemies of Islam, you have no courage whatsoever. What does that say about you? Right. What does that actually say about your personality?
01:02:51Well, I mean, there are so many points, Sheikh, that Ibn al-Qayyim rahimahu Allah mentioned in regard to these flaws. I wanted to go over them inshallah on your own in the book. He talks about: if you think you've become so proud of your wealth, if you think that because you're handsome and beautiful,
01:03:04if you think that you're good because, you know, your ancestors are such-and-such— so he brings all these things that you brag and boast about and how you can cure yourself from this. And then he came to the final point that I'd like to close with, inshallah. When he says
01:03:19you have to understand it like this: trying to cure yourself is not going to be simple. He says, and he gave an example: it's harder in reality
01:03:28to tame your own self than taming a wild beast or lion, because the other one—either the lions, if they put in cages, basically filled—beautiful is the technique, the animal—look, when the kings, they
01:03:44domesticate lions basically and they put them into cages. He says they will be safe from the harm that might come from these lions because they're behind the bars, they're in cages, right? They're in cages, right?
01:03:57But when it comes to the nafs—when it comes to your self, your own nafs— but as for your nafs, your own self, even if you put it behind any bars or you cage yourself, there is no safety.
01:04:10There's no guarantee of safety from the evil of your own self. That's such a powerful statement, especially with Ramadan. Look, let's say that you know—when we go through these destructive flaws,
01:04:21you're like, "I don't have that problem. I don't have that problem. I'm not this person. I'm not that person." Even if you never were, study how to keep those things away from you forever, because you never know what disease you could develop while you're not paying attention.
01:04:32How often do you see people that are physically healthy all of a sudden get afflicted with a disease? It doesn't match up, right? And sometimes there's a level of neglect. Right, they're neglecting a certain element of their health consistently.
01:04:47And so something develops as a result of that. When it comes to your spiritual health, even if none of these lowly traits fit you now, then you have to be vigilant, because they can come back. So even if you've managed to cage them, if Allah gave you victory over them, you need to actually think about
01:05:00how you reached that point. What was the low point that you reached in your life that made you vulnerable and allowed you to be exploited and got you pulled into it in the first place?
01:05:14So that you can make sure that you keep it out for the long run. And you also need to make sure that you fill your time, fill your effort, fill your mind, fill your heart with that which is good, so that Shaytan can't visit you and busy you with that which is evil and pull you away from Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala.
01:05:28Subhanak, I'll be good for this beautiful presentation. Before we take questions, I want to do this, this blessed night of the month of Ramadan. We have a shahada. I would like to conduct a shahada with a sister.
01:05:40She would like to share—a sister right there—she wants to give her shahada, inshallah Tabaarak wa ta'ala. So I hope she's ready, inshallah. As a good sister.
01:06:01What is your name, sister? Mel. C. May Allah bless you. Welcome to your new home. Welcome to your new community. Welcome to your new family. May Allah allow this journey of yours to be blessed always, and may he turn this page
01:06:15into one of eternal good, and grant you forgiveness, and grant you grace, and grant you his reward in this life and the next. Amin. You're gonna repeat after me. First, we'll do it in Arabic, and then we'll do it in English, inshallah. So slowly in Arabic, say: Ash-hadu
01:06:28ash-hadu an la ilaha illallah. Allah. Wa
01:06:42ash-hadu wa —no, "wa"—as in, like, think. Don't feel bad. "Wa" as in, like, wa-ash-hadu. Anna
01:06:56Muhammadan rasul Allah. I bear witness, I bear witness that there is only one God, that there's only one God, and that
01:07:06Muhammad—that Muhammad is his final messenger, his final master. Be it. Welcome to your new family of faith.
01:07:20Welcome to your new faith, and inshallah all of these sisters will be with you, and we hope to see you around, inshallah, at Valley Ranch Islamic Center always. So we take a few questions, inshallah, before we break for suhur. Let me hedge it, been the last, so again,
01:07:31so the question is about good pride versus kibr.
01:07:45Good pride versus kibr. So when Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah rahimahu Allah mentions one of his best qualities—one that he has— no value for anyone who disagrees with him when he believed that he is right, even if they mounted to the whole world.
01:07:56How do we distinguish between the ability for most of these scholars to have immense pride in their knowledge and the pride that is considered kibr?
01:08:07How do we differentiate between these two things? Because there's a very fine line here between being, you know, firm in being right. Yeah, so I'm not sure if you all heard the question, but how do we distinguish between pride—
01:08:23unhealthy pride—and that which is actually somewhat beneficial? The answer to that is, first and foremost, who do you attribute the blessing to? You attribute it to Allah, not to yourself. Anything that Allah has given you of a quality—
01:08:35whether it's knowledge or generosity or a good trait that you find within yourself—say, "Al-hamdulillahi 'ala dhalik." Thank Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala for it. Know that Allah gave you a blessing, so attribute the blessing to him, not to yourself.
01:08:45Right, so it's not like—you'll notice that all the tyrants in the Qur'an that are mentioned—right, whether it's Pharaoh or Haman or whatever it may be—they attribute: "I did this. I attained this.
01:08:57This was in me. I got myself to this point." You didn't get yourself to any point. You would be nowhere without Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala—not in your physical strength, your mental strength, or your spiritual strength. Your blessings—
01:09:08everything that you have was unlocked by Allah subhanahu wa'ta'ala. So keep yourself humble. The second thing is that you praise the blessing itself and recognize that no matter how much virtue you have attained—because we're talking about virtues here, right?—
01:09:23how much virtue you've attained, you still have a deficiency in that very same virtue, because no matter how much of that virtue you have, you have not attained the level of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam in that virtue. So you still have a naqis—you still have a deficiency—within that very same virtue.
01:09:36And then the third thing is to recognize that even if you've attained some of those virtues, you still have vices that may offset the virtues, and you need to focus on doing away with those vices to keep yourself humble, so that you always see yourself as a lifelong project. You are an experiment until the moment that you die.
01:09:51In the moral theory and moral foundation has been debated for thousands of years between the scholars from all
01:10:11the spectrum of religion and theology and philosophy, and it boils down to two main differences: between revelation and reason. And
01:10:24some people, they say— now my question in the Islamic world: there's a big group but there is a group of Muslims who claim that their virtues come from revelation. However, they stand on revelation
01:10:41foundation in their morals. However, we see them—they don't have any of those virtues that Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned, like 'adalah. They don't have that. They don't have jud.
01:10:55They don't have fatwá. They don't even have the maruwwa and humility. And I probably know what I'm talking about. Now this is turning into political—
01:11:06which makes me doubt either those people or the idea of revelation. So how can we reconcile and make me personally understand that those people who claim
01:11:16their moral foundations are based on revelation? their moral foundations is
01:11:31 based on revelation However, we see them probably the most corrupt in my opinion in their behavior and their virtues. Yeah, I mean, I'll answer it from a
01:11:47from the perspective of how the Prophet, ﷺ, spoke about the natural virtues that people were able to acquire and things that Allah, 'Azza wa Jall, put inside of people in terms of fitra, and
01:11:57they were acquired through multiple experiences. Now, so my—I didn't feel I could forget it. Yeah, I don't come to Islam. People are like precious stones. The best of you in days of ignorance are like the best of you in Islam, either
01:12:08faqihoo. If you have knowledge, someone can be generous, someone can be just, someone can be oriented towards good values, and then revelation comes and gives that some definition. It refines it, it perfects it, and
01:12:22it does away with the things that can contradict it, right? But there is no—there's no problem in Islam to say that someone has
01:12:33good morals, and if only they would become Muslim, Islam can perfect, purify, and refine and beautify. And that the greatest moral is or the greatest threshold of morality is
01:12:46to worship the God that created you, is to obey the one that brought you into existence, is to attribute all good to the one who originates all good. Like that, that is ultimate morality, and that to deny—
01:12:58like, we wouldn't say about someone who denies their parents that that's a moral human being. Someone had good parents and they mistreated their parents and said, "My parents never did anything for me in life,"
01:13:09there might be some good things that that person does, but we would—we wouldn't dare call that like a moral human being, a person who has absolute morality. So that's why in al-shirk is a great transgression, it's a great transgression.
01:13:18I'll be like, even using that term, like attributing a partner to Allah is a great transgression. It's a great transgression. So Allah has put in us certain seeds of morality
01:13:30that sometimes even someone who's not Muslim will act upon those things, and that's good. And what you want to do is you want to help them refine that, and build on the basis of that. And sometimes it's those good qualities, those good traits, that help them to see the truth
01:13:43clearer because they're already motivated towards purpose, they're motivated towards something else, they're seekers. And the sincere seeker will end up at the truth sincerely, right? So that's what I would say on that from a theological, from a theological point of view.
01:13:57I want to actually add one thing over here. So this actually springs from the philosophical principle on what makes good good versus what makes evil evil, right? So is good good because Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, said it's good,
01:14:11so it became good, or because it was originally good, Allah Subhana chose this to be good? Now, that's a philosophical question, right? But for the believer,
01:14:20we don't make any difference. Why? Because Allah is the creator of everything, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, and because he created everything, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, there is no such thing as absolute evil.
01:14:31Even evil is relative, which means, as Allah says in the Qur'an, "Wa 'asa an takrahoo shay'an wa huwa khayrun lakum." You might dislike something and Allah will make so much good that comes out of it, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. So therefore, there is no such thing as pure evil over here,
01:14:45just like there's no such thing as pure good in that context over here. That's from a philosophical point of view. The other thing, Ibn Taymiyyah, Rahimahu Allah, he comments on this. He has a whole book on the subject: Dar'u Ta'arud al-'Aql wa al-Naql.
01:14:56There is no such thing that contradicts the 'aql—that is, the right reason, the correct reason— with the authentic narration or the authentic sahih, right? So if some people they uphold religious principles based on wahy
01:15:11that would contradict what we know to be good because overall it's the good that Allah Subhanahu Ta'ala has placed for us, then their understanding of the wahy is wrong. It's not like the wahy is wrong; their understanding of the wahy is wrong.
01:15:24And if some people they uphold, they hold on to some reason or the intellectual, let's say principle of goodness that goes against the Qur'an and Sunnah, I don't care how much they say this is the good thing to do.
01:15:37If it's not in the Qur'an, the Sunnah of the Prophet, ﷺ, or it contradicts the Qur'an, the Sunnah of the Prophet, ﷺ, that good that they perceive to be good is never good. So therefore, like, for example, let's say if you want to talk about something from a
01:15:51legal point of view: let's say capital punishment, for example. The society over here considers this to be, for example, wrong. And, you know, you're ending the life of a person and you have no right to control that, and so on. But Allah in the Qur'an says:
01:16:06"Wa lakum fi al-qisas hayah." Capital punishment brings life, which means a deterrence that protects other people's lives that could be harmed because some people don't see any punishment for doing so.
01:16:16So again, from that point of view, we'd say if they claim something to be virtuous that is contradicting to what is considered to be also virtuous overall from the Shari'ah and the 'aql point of view,
01:16:27their understanding of the wahy is wrong. Not that the wahy is wrong. Wallahu Ta'ala. I'm sure on that also, like the application— right, the application of something that's even claimed to be virtue.
01:16:36So something like capital punishment, the death penalty, is now applied with all sorts of discrimination, all sorts of false delineations and things of that sort.
01:16:46So even taking something in the name of virtue and making it something—of course, that goes back again: if you leave it to man-made laws, so it's up to them how they're going to dictate this to be good or bad. Wa Allahu Alam, and wa alayhi al-salatu wa al-salam. Insha'Allah,
01:17:01As-Salamu Alaykum. My question is about dealing with a close family member, like a parent, who constantly points out others' faults, avoids accountability, and puts conditions on reconciliation. How can I deal with them in a way that protects my own heart while still trying to maintain
01:17:16ihsan, and how can I help someone like that grow without enabling the behavior? So I didn't hear the whole question. But dealing with the parent who points out the flaws of other people—so basically, a parent who is
01:17:30backbiting—I didn't, I couldn't make out the whole question to be honest with you. But if I understand correctly, dealing with the parent who scrutinizes others: How can you maintain your connection to that parent while still
01:17:45helping them grow away from that habit? Is that what the question is? Okay, I'm gonna assume that's what the question is. Look, the main thing when you're dealing with a parent that is
01:17:59indulging certain attitudes and behaviors, especially when they're elderly, there's nothing wrong with correcting them. It's just about how do you correct them? What's the best way to correct them? Sometimes the best way is to just change the subject, just keep changing the subject over and over and over again until they get the
01:18:14message that you just don't like talking about people and you really don't—you don't enjoy that type of indulgence, right? So to do something to turn them away. Now, nasihah is meant to be delivered in the most effective way.
01:18:28It's like, you know, al-Hasan and al-Husayn, may Allah be pleased with them both. They had this incident where there was an old man that was making wudu' incorrectly. So they wanted to teach the old man how to make wudu', but neither of them felt comfortable going and showing the old man how to make wudu'.
01:18:42So what they did is they staged an argument about wudu' in front of the man so that he got the point. Right, so one of them correcting the other.
01:18:51So if it's hard for you to confront them directly, then think of indirect ways for you to register your disagreement with that type of behavior, and think of ways to shift conversations, to change things around.
01:19:05But again, if you find the moment, you know, where you can talk to your parents outside of a way that's combative— you're not challenging their authority, but you're expressing your own discomfort— as a rule of thumb, anytime you're going to point out something like that to a parent,
01:19:19you know, if you've got to have like three disclaimers, qualifications of praise when you're talking to a friend, you got to have like thirty of them when you're talking to a parent, to ensure that the respect is there and that I'm not in any way diminishing you as a parent or
01:19:32claiming that you raised me in such a horrible way or that you've been a poor example or challenging you, but out of love for you, I just want to point out maybe this, maybe I'm misunderstanding you. Like, you can use every qualifier in the world to get that message across
01:19:45in the most effective way, insha'Allah. That's a very important question. Insha'Allah, we close with this: one about self-awareness versus self-centeredness.
01:19:55It seems like the concept of self-mastery is this very delicate balance of hyper-self-awareness while avoiding being self-centered.
01:20:03We live in a society that self-care is synonymous with catering to yourself or centering yourself. How do you clearly make that distinction? What are the checkpoints you can do during the day to help prevent you from centering yourself to the point of destruction?
01:20:17Like, I want to be self-aware of my own mistakes and my own flaws and work on myself, but I'm afraid that that might lead to becoming so self-centered, so observant of myself that I lose the connection with the world around me.
01:20:31There are two things to that. Number one: the premise of self-awareness and purifying yourself is—I mean, I'd love to hear you actually weigh in on this—
01:20:44but I think that the premise from an Islamic perspective is "La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah," as the saying of Ibn Mas'ud. Verily, if Allah punished all of the people that the creation of the heavens and the earth,
01:20:55He would punish them, and He wouldn't be dhulm—He wouldn't be an oppressor towards them. Like that, we all have flaws that we need to rectify, and in trying to connect to a perfect Lord, we're all imperfect beings connecting to a perfect Lord.
01:21:09Therefore, the premise is that I have to work on myself. I have flaws. I have to engage in this mujahada al-nafs, this jihad al-nafs, this striving against the self to try to get it to the best place possible,
01:21:23while recognizing that Allah in His perfection will show His mercy and fill in the shortcomings and bring me to any level that I possibly can. So that all of us are deficient in some ways,
01:21:34and so all of us will have to have some level of struggle with the self in order to be there. I think what distinguishes Muslim self-care, Islamic self-care, from
01:21:46the self-care that you hear about today is that you're trying to be the best version of yourself, meaning the best 'abd (servant), the best slave of Allah, and the best
01:21:57the best brother or sister to your brothers and sisters, the most capable servant of the people in that sense, right? So the bettering of yourself is to make yourself the most
01:22:09complete 'abd (servant) of Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, and as a son, as a daughter, as a brother, as a sister, as a friend. Right, to be there for people as well. So self-care is not to make yourself feel better;
01:22:21it's to make yourself the best version of yourself, which has an impact on how you treat everybody else. Like, there is no scenario in which my self-
01:22:32improvement leads to my negligence of the other. Like, that doesn't exist in a seerah paradigm. And how the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, describes self-mastery. In fact, if you look at the Sunnah of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the things that we—his
01:22:45characteristics—and if you were to take, like, a percentage, how many of them deal with the way that he mastered his character towards other people? Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It's the majority. Right? That clearly, the way that he was treating everyone lent itself
01:22:59to a natural conclusion that he was someone—I read, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam—that was dedicated to mastering his existence. Right? And becoming the best version of himself. So that's, I think, the premise of the question seems to assume that we're living in a vacuum.
01:23:15You're not living by yourself in a bubble, so you can't do that. You can't really just focus so much on yourself in relation to relationships to people around you and the world around you. You are living in a
01:23:28very well-connected life, so if you want to master your skills of self-awareness in regards to being aware basically of your manners, of akhlaq and etiquette, and so on, okay?
01:23:40Think about this in relationship to dealing with your parents, in relation to dealing with your community, in relation to dealing with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, to deal with that with your enemies, with your friends, with and the visa—some call it the cool of the hot, and so on, right here?
01:23:54We're only focusing on one percent out of the, you know, one hundred percent of relations that we have to deal with. When he says, "Some care in al-nafs sick a lake," "ah, your nafs has a right on you,
01:24:04your Lord has a right on you. And your family has a right on you. Even he said, 'What is our ikka? Like a right? Even your guests—they have a right on you.'
01:24:14So in the process of refining our character, ourself, it's not really just living in a vacuum—like, it's just become an abstract thing. There is no such thing as being a perfect human being in an abstract world.
01:24:27No, you're a human being in a very well-connected world and society. So you're gonna have to think about perfecting your akhlaq and your manners—etiquette—in relation to all these
01:24:40elements of your life. So it reminds me of the hadith, "al-ladhi yakhtalit bi al-nas wa yasbir 'ala adhahum, khayrun min al-ladhi la yakhtalit bi al-nas wa la yasbir." Who mixes with the people and
01:24:49tolerates the hardship of mixing with the people is better than the one who avoids the people and does not tolerate their hardship. What does that mean? Now, when someone says, "You know, I'm sick of people. I'm just gonna sit at home, I'm just gonna worship Allah, minute—forget about the masjid, forget about good, forget about all these efforts of good.
01:25:05Everyone's messed up. I don't feel like dealing with people. Everyone's a headache. I'm just gonna worship Allah, do my own thing, come to salah, and that's it. That's not the best way. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Al-ladhi yakhtalit bi al-nas"—the one who mixes with the people, the one who engages with the
01:25:17people and deals with the headache of the people—gets twice the reward, because that's how you sharpen your tools. It's like that animal in the zoo that looks like a really bad animal until you throw it into the jungle. All right? It's not gonna be able to hold itself.
01:25:31Like, those lions look amazing in the zoo, put it with real lions—now, after it's been in the zoo, it's not gonna be able to handle itself anymore. Like, you sharpen those characteristics, you sharpen those traits
01:25:42when you're actually mixing with the elements where you can sharpen those traits. That's where you —and the summary to all of this is Surah Al-'Asr: "Wa al-'asr. Inna al-insana la fi khusr. Illa alladhina amanu wa 'amilu al-salihat wa tawa saw bi al-haqq wa tawa saw bi al-sabr."
01:25:55Except those who have faith, act upon it with good deeds, and then they also they enjoin other people to do the same. They say we work with each other—what al-sabr—they have to persevere in patience, because doing that's gonna
01:26:06cause a lot of troubles. So you have to refine your qualities, your akhlaq, your traits within that complexity of the society, not in a vacuum or an abstract world.
01:26:16Well, I hope that is that. May Allah bless us, insha'Allah. I don't think as—notice I remember that tomorrow I'm sure a lot of Tala is our final session. You guys know that? Wow, I mean we're already there.
01:26:30Tomorrow's gonna be our final session, my last time with Baraka and this—separate Arab. And I mean, we ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make us among those who benefit from what they learn and then that was beneficial to them. Allahumma, I mean. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to show us that which is right and make it easy for us to follow it
01:26:44and know which is wrong and stay away from it. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide our heart to that which is most pleasing to Him. Allahumma, I mean. And to accept our Ramadan from us, here. Allahumma, I mean. We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to protect us, protect our communities, Allahumma, I mean, and the Ummah—we all got in this place.
01:26:59We ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to bring us together in Jannat al-Firdaws al-'Ala with the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
